Online Dating – Does It Work?

What is Love?

What do we consider love? One popular dictionary site states that love is: “The most spectacular,indescribable, deep euphoric feeling for someone.” So love is spectacular and indescribable. Love sets our hearts on fire, it makes our blood boil and turns us into different creatures. Love, sex and romance have fueled our culture and history, they have built up and torn down empires, and they are what every person wants to find.

Where is the Love?

How do you find it? In the past you looked to your friends, you scanned the church and searched the clubs, maybe it even would even sneak up on you at work. In the deeper past you married who your parents decided and hoped love would spark. Today, as before, we use the tools at our disposal. They just happen to be different tools. Today we use the internet.

Not more than a few years ago, no self respecting person would admit that they were dating online. It was seen as a last resort, a tool for the desperate. What a difference a few years makes! Scientists at the University of Rochester recently reported a study where they found that online dating is now the second most common way to begin a relationship. Today tens of millions of people use online dating sites and these sites have proliferated. PlentyOfFish.com, Match.com, eHarmony.com, OKCupid.com and these are just a very few of the most popular not even counting the niche dating sites. What was frowned upon has become commonplace and why wouldn’t it. A CNN article recently summed it up like this:

If you’re young, urban and didn’t import a significant other from college, it’s pretty likely that you’re on an online dating site.

The pool of possibilities widens immensely. No longer do you need to settle for people you would meet at work, a party, church, or a local bar. Many of these dating sites even promise, through proprietary computer matching, that they can indeed pick out your perfect mate.

Where do We Find Love

Can they truly pick a perfect match? That is still a rather controversial assertion, but what they will do is introduce you to many more people than you would have met otherwise. And it all depends on what you are looking for and it depends how hard you want to look. Everyone knows someone who met their spouse online, as well as met people who have horror stories about online dating. Are the statistic for online dating any better than traditional dating? A study recently out published in the journal Psychological Science in the Public Interest states that it is no more effective than traditional dating for finding a happy relationship. The study states:

Regarding matching, no compelling evidence supports matching sites’ claims that mathematical algorithms work-that they foster romantic outcomes that are superior to those fostered by other means of pairing partners.

This may be true, but we use the tools at our disposal. So cupid is still rather stingy with his arrows high tech or otherwise. If it were that easy, it wouldn’t be love!

Online Dating – Potential Dangers and Disasters

You’ve just clicked the last box in the long list of procedures to join XYZ online dating service, confident that everything you put in your profile was exactly as you wanted. You double checked, didn’t you?

Oops, you accidentally left in some key information that will make you readily identifiable to all your friends, family and co-workers. Now everybody will know about your absolute sheer desperation to find a partner.

Or worse! You put on your profile a photograph of yourself, half-plastered with alcohol at the last Christmas party, lipstick smeared across your cheeks (I haven’t mentioned any gender here, so whatever pictures you have in your mind are entirely your input).

So, you see. This is a potential minefield…and we haven’t even been out on our first date yet, have we?

But don’t despair or feel that the cat is out of the bag. You can always go back to the profile and change the details/remove the photos/delete your entire account if you are scared enough.

But let’s be serious here for a moment. In the following paragraphs I’m going to go through the three most apparent “dangers” of Internet dating.

The Stalker

Yes, ladies and gentlemen. I will put this horrible creature at the top of the list. We have all heard the horrifying stories that have often ended in tragedy. Even murder. Quite often these terrible events have come after encounters on the more “adult-oriented” sites. Perhaps a threesome has become a deadly game filled with jealousy and hatred, after what seemed to be such a cool idea at the time.

Even on a more mundane level, there are nutters out there who have harassed poor women (and men) to the point of psychological breakdown. Yep, it happens.

But, there are ways to avoid this. These guidelines, by no means a definitive list, are especially relevant for women and may help you in a tricky situation.

  1. Never put direct contact details in a profile. Most dating sites will not allow this anyway, as long as their screening procedures are up to standard.
  2. Make sure your first meetings are in well-patronized areas, like a food-court in a shopping mall, or some other busy place. That way, if the man/woman turns out to be less than what you hoped for, you can blend into the crowd before slipping away.
  3. If you feel nervous, take along someone you know and trust well and have them observe you from a distance. You won’t believe how much more confident this makes some women feel.
  4. Don’t give your phone number to your new online friend until you feel it is safe to do so. When is this? Certainly not after date number one.
  5. This may sound drastic, but keep some form of protection (in addition to condoms!) in your handbag (mace, capsicum spray, a very loud alarm device) in case you find yourself alone and in an intimidating environment. In the same vein, go and get some self-defense lessons – it will keep you fit and desirable as well as give you valuable knowledge about groin attacks and the like!

The Don Juan Crook

These are men, nine times out of ten, and there are more and more stories of these guys emerging every day.

This is where a super-charmer convinces their new date/partner that they are world-famous, super successful and know all the celebrities. For some reason or other, all their funds are tied up in something, and they cannot get their hands on ready cash for day-to-day living, or for some other “sure-fire” investment.

Before you know it. Mr or Mrs Gullible Internet Dater have handed over their bank account details, credit cards, or even packed the rolls of cash into the suitcase before driving Don Juan to the airport and kissing him good-bye as he boards the plane for Rio!

How do you avoid these crooks? It can be difficult for lonely folks, especially widows and widowers (beware the female black spider!), so the best advice here is to enlist a friend or two to give you an absolutely candid appraisal of your new-found Prince/Princess Charming.

The Dishonest Dating Site with Fake Members

This problem had a bit of press in Australia recently. I won’t name the actual site, but the owners were punished by the courts and made to apologize to their members.

Sadly, it can be hard to spot the fake profiles, sometimes answering you via sophisticated software programs, or even by real people paid to pretend they are someone else (backpackers in Australia, for instance).

If you aren’t careful, these pseudo-daters can waste a lot of your valuable time and money.

The best way to avoid being scammed in this way is to ask specific questions that only a real person would know the answers to. For example, ask about current events in your local area. If they can’t or won’t answer, you might be dealing with a robot!

However, in my opinion, Internet dating is a great option in today’s fast-paced world. People are time poor, and lack the freedom to socialize they way it used to be in the “good old days’.

Online daters just need to be alert to the potential dangers, and take the appropriate steps to minimize the damage.

Happy dating!

Online Dating Guide – Learn the Top 10 Excuses That Stop You From Finding Love on Online Dating Site

Millions of single men and women are seeking love on internet dating sites. Many are successfully finding their ideal love match online. Would you like to be one of them? You’re about to learn the top 10 excuses that may be stopping you from finding love online, and what to do instead to meet your best love match.

Excuse 1. Who has time to look?

If you were out of work, how much time each day would you devote to your search for work?
If you are out of love, isn’t your search for your love match equally important to you? If you are too busy to search for love, then you are too busy to create a loving relationship.

Will you devote a half-hour in your busy day to your online search for love?

Excuse 2. I tried online dating sites and had no luck

Some singles have said this after using an online dating site for a free trial weekend. Would you expect to find your ideal job by reading the want ads for one weekend? Is it realistic to expect that you would find your ideal love match online in a few days or months?

Will you toss out your arbitrary timetable and commit to your online search for your love match, however long it takes?

Excuse 3. I don’t want to date until…

Are you waiting to date until you: lose weight, get a great job, finish writing your book, send your youngest child to college? Do you see your reasons as unchangeable facts? Do you see how this keeps you stuck on the edge of the online dating pool?

Will you take a new look at reasons to delay your search and see how you can find a way to meet successful singles online while you also work to achieve your other goals simultaneously?

Excuse 4. All the good ones are taken

Millions of great single men and women seeking love online would disagree with you, so this excuse simply isn’t true. Do you see how your limiting belief is blocking you from meeting new single friends and finding your ideal love match?

Will you let go of your limiting belief and dive into the online dating pool this week?

Excuse 5. I already know all the singles in my town

Great. It’s time to expand your dating horizons. Online dating sites unite singles around the world. There’s no reason for you to be alone, unless you want to be.

Will you move out of your dating comfort zone and sign up for an online dating site this week?

Excuse 6. I like my life the way it is. Why change it?

Are you so cozy in your life that you won’t make room for love? Do you think that dates always want to change you so you fit in with their lifestyle? These attitudes actually guard your heart to make sure you won’t love again.

Will you search for the love match who will fit right into your cozy life and love you just the way you are right now?

Excuse 7. Online dating sites are just one more way to be rejected

Will you flip the switch and rev up your self confidence? Online dating sites offer a million opportunities to be accepted by a wonderful love match. You don’t want to waste your time with a match who’s not attracted to the qualities you bring to a relationship.

Remember, each time you think or receive a NEXT signal from a potential match, you are one step closer to meeting the special person you desire and deserve.

Excuse 8. If it’s meant to be, my match will find me

This excuse is like leaving the light on in your bedroom window at night, hoping your love match will drive by and be drawn to it like a moth to a flame.

Will you be pro-active in your search for true love? Do you know what you want and want it enough to climb a mountain and ask for it? This metaphor reveals the energy, enthusiasm and effort that turns an ordinary search for love into a love quest. Ready to star in your own romantic adventure story?

Excuse 9. Online dating is too risky

The risks are diminished by built-in safeguards and guidelines used by most online dating sites. You create a screen name, and you won’t give out your private contact information until you’ve most likely emailed or chatted by video, talked on the phone and met for coffee in a public place.

If you sense you’ve met a solid person and you’ve felt a spark of mutual interest upon your first meeting face-to-face, you may want to reveal your real names and phone numbers. Then you can Google each other or do a background check before you explore serious possibilities of a dating relationship.

Excuse 10. I’m successful in my career, and I don’t want anybody to know I’m dating online.

The people who will see your online dating profile are also single and seeking a fulfilled love life, and they may be equally successful in their career. They understand how career demands can interfere with a search for a relationship. They are using innovative online dating searching and screening technology to explore the country and the world for their ideal match who shares and values the best qualities.

Are you ready to meet other savvy singles who are proud to search the world for their true love?